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A gift for Moselle

Title: Akeida
Fandom: Thor
Pairing/Characters: Loki and Odin parental fic
Rating: Mature
Summary: A young Loki learns the meaning of sacrifice. Inspired by the story of the Sacrifice of Isaac
Word Count: 950
Warnings/Spoilers: Mental child abuse, minor physical child abuse



"Where are we going, Father?" Loki asked softly, stumbling to keep up with Father's long gait.  The forest was so big, Loki had never been so far from the castle.

"Somewhere we need to be," Father answered, reaching out a hand. "Come, we cannot be late."

Loki accepted his father's grip, his tiny hand protected in Father's enormous hold. "Will I like where I am going?" he asked.

Father didn't answer for a moment. "Being royalty isn't about what you like, Loki. It is what you must do," he finally said.

Loki didn't like that answer very much. "That doesn't sound like much fun," he pouted. Raising his free hand, he sent up sparks of magic to form bored runes in the air before them.  "Why isn;t Thor here?" They usually did everything together.

Father paused for a long moment. "I selected you for a reason," he said gently. "You were the only one I could take. It will just be you and I."

Loki liked that. Having his father's attention all to himself felt very good. "Thank you," he whispered.  He snuggled up close to his father's side. “I like being with you.”

Father stopped before a large glowing pit. Fiery tendrils leapt out, and Loki immediately shied back. "It is not easy be a father and king. One must often do what is best, even if it is very painful," he said. "You are a good boy, you must understand that."  He sounded so sad.

"Is this the place, Father?" Loki whispered, hugging his father's strong arm. "Why have you brought me here?" What could the All-Father need from a weak little second son, who could barely cast six Runes without fainting.  "What is this place? Are you wroth with me?"

"Oh no, Loki. I am not angry with you. But I am sad, very sad," Father said, kneeling down. "You will be a brave boy, won't you? You will trust me, and know I do what was best?" He was almost pleading, as his hold grew tight, painfully tight.

Loki tried to pull out of his grip. "You're hurting me," he pleaded. "Please, Father, stop!"

Father didn't stop. He picked him up in a crushing grip and held him over the pit. Loki kicked, the heat making him sweat. "Surtr, take my son, Thor, my only son, who I love. I have brought him to your region, to sacrifice him as a burnt offering," he recited.

“What are you doing?” Loki shrieked, shaking with terror.  This wasn’t right!

“Trust me, my son,” Father ordered, before letting go and allowing him to fall.

Loki could only scream as he felt himself being hurled into the fire. The heat seem to sizzle around him, but there was no pain. Nothing but an inward feeling  of coldness. Everything had to be cold or he was going to be dead. So he closed his eyes and thought of cold. Everything was cold and ice and winter. There was an odd roar in his ears, but he could thinking of cold. As long as there was cold, there was no pain.

When there was silence and he finally opened his eyes, he could only see ice around him. "You did it, Loki," he could hear…his voice. The voice of the man who he had called Father. The voice of the man who had denied him and then threw him into oblivion. As he looked into the ice, he could see his reflection. "I knew you would do it. Your magic would cancel his." He was blue. Frost giant blue. He was a monster. "I am so proud of you."

Loki touched his reflection, his hands shaking. He was so ugly and blue, he was disgusting. Was this the real him? How could it be possible?

A hand took his shoulder. "Let's go home, my son." Loki's skin was becoming warm again.  It wasn’t a good feeling anymore.  “Surtr is no more.”

"What happened?" Loki whispered, the tears freezing down his cheeks. "I'm a monster. A monster to defeat a monster. You said Thor was your only son! You threw me in."

"I knew your magic would solve the problem. You should have trusted me," The All-Father chided in that all wise tone that chilled Loki. "Enough. Forget my words. "

"What am I?" Loki pleaded, feeling very lost.  “Why did you say I was Thor? Why did you throw me in? Why am I blue?”

"You are mine," The All-Father said, in that same gentle voice, the same voice used before casting Loki into flames and darkness. "That is all you need to know. No more questions. We will go home and all shall return to normal." It was an order, masked in paternal soothing.  "Take my hand."

Loki bowed his head but kept his hands at his sides. "Why?" he whispered, his voice shaking.  “Tell me! What am I?”

"You are mine, Loki. You must trust me to do what is best?" the All-Father commanded. "Do you understand me, child?"

Loki shook his head. "Answer me," he pleaded. “How is all of this possible? Tell me!” His pleas were turning into high shrieks, as sobs choked him.

The All-Father sighed and picked up Loki with one arm, pinning his small arms to his sides. "It has been a long day," he said, in that same voice as he crushed Loki into a hard grip. “You saved Asgard. You served your purpose. The healers will modify your memory and all shall be well.”

Loki stopped struggling. He knew wherever he was going, he had no choice in the matter. Soon, he wouldn’t even remember what happened. But deep down, he knew nothing would ever be the same.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
dessieoctavia
May. 24th, 2013 05:08 pm (UTC)
OH MY GODS THE ANGST. That is beautiful and tragic and so, so suitable.

Thank you!
dessieoctavia
May. 24th, 2013 05:11 pm (UTC)
P.S. I've now posted about it on my LJ, DW and tumblr.
dungeonwriter
May. 24th, 2013 05:15 pm (UTC)
Excellent. I really wanted to focus on the Akeida of Isaac, the idea of a Father sacrificing his son, Odin's need to be right over Loki's needs, the way Loki is too small to matter, so he can't fight back like he did in the movie, it's just a lost little boy and the loss of a father.

So glad you liked it. I love your work and wanted to give you a gift.
dessieoctavia
May. 24th, 2013 05:29 pm (UTC)
That is so kind of you!!

Hey, you want me to see if I can get you an AO3 invite? I mean, I'm sure I can, the question will just be if they make us wait for several days or not.
dungeonwriter
May. 25th, 2013 01:33 am (UTC)
It's a pleasure to be your e-friend!


http://archiveofourown.org/works/816611 My first posting, btw. I'll be posting my fetish fics up there over the next few weeks.

dessieoctavia
May. 25th, 2013 01:46 am (UTC)
Squee! And I'll be reading them! Or re-reading. ^-^
(Deleted comment)
dungeonwriter
May. 25th, 2013 01:39 am (UTC)
Thanks! I'm actually going to be preaching the sermon on Sabbath in Israel, so I've been brushing up. The sacrifice of Isaac was one of the stories that truly hurt me as a child and I used to ask why Abraham was so willing to defend Sodom but refused to fight for his own son, and it's a very tough story. I still believe it, and while I was preparing my sermon, I sketched this out. I still haven't figured it out, but it says a lot about how I'm feeling right now.

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )