dungeonwriter

So, basically here is me in a nutshell.

dungeonwriter

Here’s to 31,

Here’s to all the milestones I thought I’d be taking

All the glass ceilings I thought I’d be breaking

Here’s all the mistakes and regrets and dreams I left behind

Remembering the dark days when I thought I lost my mind

Raise a glass to the bitter tears I’ve shed

All the things I should have and should said

To all the scars and wounds and every single bruise

To all the disappointments and to the carnage on the news

Here’s to 31

Let’s rock it out, let’s wipe away

All the tears, it’s my birthday

Let’s leave behind all the tears

And make a time for better years

Let’s rock it out, let’s celebrate

I lived long enough to reach this date

And what lies before me, I’m so unsure

But that’s what makes life living for

Here’s to 31

Here’s to all the friends that I found along the years

To every adventure, when I faced my own fears

Here’s to all the laughter from jokes so very dumb

Blow out the candles, look around, the best is yet to come

Here’s to the good fight, to the new dreams that I’ll reach

And to all the lessons, that life will surely teach

Raise a glass to the opportunities I found along the way

Make a toast, laugh and embrace another birthday

Here’s to 31

dungeonwriter

• Had a really really really bad illness


• Brother 2 had mental health breakdown


• Got laid off

dungeonwriter

So, I'm 30. I didn't wake up with wrinkles and three grandkids.

But I did have a memory which makes it worth it. Last year, my mother was having lunch at a very fancy restaurant when the owner came out. "I know this is a strange question but are you Elle's mother?" he asks.

My mother nods. "Do you know her?"

"Yes. We went to elementary school together. Do you remember me?" he asked. Well, my mother didn't, but he remembered us. So, "Adnan" was a Jewish refugee from Syria who got dumped in my school because his parents just picked the closest one. He spoke no English and was miserable. And apparently, I was the only one who was kind to him, and would help him with his homework. He remembered on a school trip that my mother was a chaperone, that I insisted he come with our group so we'd have all have fun. He's now a successful owner of a hip NYC restaurant and very happy. "Tell her thank you. She was the first person to be kind to me. I can never forget that."

Sadly...I didn't even remember that. It was so long ago, and that year was a terrible one in my life. But apparently, for someone else, I made their terrible year better.

I have a lot of dreams for this year and this decade. But right now, I want to just be grateful for all the times I was helpful to others. One of my worst qualities is I'm terribly competitive and always think "Why aren't I more popular/better/more successful?"

Now...I'm just trying to be still and happy for what is.

dungeonwriter

I admit, I find the biographical story of this whole affair of Islam's birth one of the most fascinating in the world. I think if it wouldn't offend Muslims deeply, it would make a killer HBO show.

I even cast it since I'm coughing too hard to exist.